Maternal Oddity

(I spotted this parody in my file of old writings. Evidently, it's from June 2018.)

Ground Control to Major Mom
Ground Control to Major Mom
Take your protein pills and put your make-up on
Ground Control to Major Mom (ten, nine, eight, seven, six)
Commencing countdown, footwear on (five, four, three)
Odor suspicion! Did you wash your hands too? (two, one, liftoff)

This is Ground Control to Major Mom
We've really made the bed
And the kiddos want to know which shirts to wear.
Now it's time to leave the castle if you dare.

"This is Major Mom in Complete Control
I'm stepping out the door
And no one's listening to what I say
And I'm haunted by forgetting something today

For here
Is coffee in my right hand
No silence in the room
The toddler is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Though we've passed one hundred thousand smiles
I've misgivings still
And I hope my husband knows which way to go
That fool better love me very much he knows"

Ground Control to Major Mom
Your mobile's dead, there's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Mom?
Can you hear me, Major Mom?
Can you hear me, Major Mom?
Can you...

"Here am I coffee in my right hand
No silence in the room
The toddler is blue
And there's nothing I can do"